16 days ago I got up as any other day-thinking that things were rocking on like always-not perfect-but not horrible either,because I believed that God's hand was on my reconciling marriage and on our family.
16 days ago I took the 'prayer breakfast crew' to their destination, then treated myself to a rare sit down breakfast and reflected on how blessed I was.
16 days ago I got up to go to work and then on to church with an excitement of a new day and a new beginning (we were to learn of the new pastor that the search committee had found)- and a fresh face at church might be just what our family needed to heal the last of the brokenness and move forward.
16 days ago, even though the last few months had had it's ups and downs, I still believed Craig, who stood in my driveway just a few days before, held me tightly, kissed me deeply and told me how much he loved me and that I "still was the ONLY one".
16 days ago I was still encouraging my child to try to believe in his father also- even though he was feeling the disappointments too.
16 days ago, even though money was tight, I trusted that God was bringing everything back together and that we would again be a 2 parent household and 2 INCOME household.
16 days ago I thought I understood what God had asked me to do, and that He was working everything out, even with the delays, in a way that was best for our family.
16 days ago my dreams of my family restored and how it would be, were as real as the wedding dress hanging in my closet.
16 days ago I felt like I had accomplished much.... because I was obedient to God, and trying my best to be what my "husband" needed me to be, no questions- no concerns- no nagging.
16 days ago I still felt "married"-(8 years later) even though many of my friends and family did not understand my commitment- I knew that it was what God had asked me to do and was a COVENANT- and it was what both me and my "husband" agreed on.
16 days ago I was trusting God to heal all the brokenness and restore the years the locust had eaten to my family.
16 days ago I believed (even though sometimes my emotions were telling me otherwise) that Craig loved me with all his heart and wanted the same things that I wanted- because THAT was what he had been telling both me and Chase.
16 days ago the world as I knew it and thought to be true- EXPLODED!!!
16 days ago I received and email that would forever change the direction of mine and my son's life.
16 days ago an old friend, who had no idea that Craig and I were still "together" told me news that would forever be etched as a horrifying moment in time.
16 days ago I learned that the world that my son and I were promised- was SHATTERED LONG before.
16 days ago I saw and heard the REAL truth for the first time.
16 days ago the REALITY of my world changed in an instant.
16 days ago, when I thought NOTHING else Craig could do would surprise me, I learned how wrong I was.
16 days ago I learned that there really WAS someone in this world who can be that cruel, it didn't JUST happen on the movie of the week.
16 days ago I realized that not only was I not his "one and only"- but neither was my precious child his one and only.
16 days ago I had to accept that AT LEAST the past 2 YEARS were a complete betrayal and a lie.
16 days ago I was told that Craig had not even been AT the address he told me he was living since 2004.... so therefore this relationship could have been going of for that long.
16 days ago I had to accept that somehow I had to sit my precious son down and try to explain how someone he held on a pedestal, had just robbed him of MANY things he held dear- and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make this one ok.
16 days ago began a long stretch of tears, sleepless nights and upset stomachs, of pacing the floor and crying out why-of trying to put my mind around ALL he had lied about.
16 days ago I took the 'prayer breakfast crew' to their destination, then treated myself to a rare sit down breakfast and reflected on how blessed I was.
16 days ago I got up to go to work and then on to church with an excitement of a new day and a new beginning (we were to learn of the new pastor that the search committee had found)- and a fresh face at church might be just what our family needed to heal the last of the brokenness and move forward.
16 days ago, even though the last few months had had it's ups and downs, I still believed Craig, who stood in my driveway just a few days before, held me tightly, kissed me deeply and told me how much he loved me and that I "still was the ONLY one".
16 days ago I was still encouraging my child to try to believe in his father also- even though he was feeling the disappointments too.
16 days ago, even though money was tight, I trusted that God was bringing everything back together and that we would again be a 2 parent household and 2 INCOME household.
16 days ago I thought I understood what God had asked me to do, and that He was working everything out, even with the delays, in a way that was best for our family.
16 days ago my dreams of my family restored and how it would be, were as real as the wedding dress hanging in my closet.
16 days ago I felt like I had accomplished much.... because I was obedient to God, and trying my best to be what my "husband" needed me to be, no questions- no concerns- no nagging.
16 days ago I still felt "married"-(8 years later) even though many of my friends and family did not understand my commitment- I knew that it was what God had asked me to do and was a COVENANT- and it was what both me and my "husband" agreed on.
16 days ago I was trusting God to heal all the brokenness and restore the years the locust had eaten to my family.
16 days ago I believed (even though sometimes my emotions were telling me otherwise) that Craig loved me with all his heart and wanted the same things that I wanted- because THAT was what he had been telling both me and Chase.
16 days ago the world as I knew it and thought to be true- EXPLODED!!!
16 days ago I received and email that would forever change the direction of mine and my son's life.
16 days ago an old friend, who had no idea that Craig and I were still "together" told me news that would forever be etched as a horrifying moment in time.
16 days ago I learned that the world that my son and I were promised- was SHATTERED LONG before.
16 days ago I saw and heard the REAL truth for the first time.
16 days ago the REALITY of my world changed in an instant.
16 days ago, when I thought NOTHING else Craig could do would surprise me, I learned how wrong I was.
16 days ago I learned that there really WAS someone in this world who can be that cruel, it didn't JUST happen on the movie of the week.
16 days ago I realized that not only was I not his "one and only"- but neither was my precious child his one and only.
16 days ago I had to accept that AT LEAST the past 2 YEARS were a complete betrayal and a lie.
16 days ago I was told that Craig had not even been AT the address he told me he was living since 2004.... so therefore this relationship could have been going of for that long.
16 days ago I had to accept that somehow I had to sit my precious son down and try to explain how someone he held on a pedestal, had just robbed him of MANY things he held dear- and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make this one ok.
16 days ago began a long stretch of tears, sleepless nights and upset stomachs, of pacing the floor and crying out why-of trying to put my mind around ALL he had lied about.
16 days ago I realized that I must start on a legal journey that I thought was long behind me.
16 days ago the magnitude of the lies- spoken, acted and written- JUST BEGAN to sink into what was now a huge brokenness and a horrible mess.
16 days ago the magnitude of the lies- spoken, acted and written- JUST BEGAN to sink into what was now a huge brokenness and a horrible mess.
16 days ago I realized that all the times he had been with me, holding and touching me, he had also been holding and touching her.
16 days ago I realized that I would have to face all the people who had been a part of this journey, supporting and praying for Craig, Chase and me and tell them the truth of what he has done.
16 days ago I realized that somehow soon, I had to confront this "man" that I thought loved and cherished me and my son and let him know that we both now knew the truth of what he had done.
16 days ago began the never ending bombardment in my heart and mind of all the times he stood in my home and held me making all these promises, all the lies that were told and truths that were evaded, of the lies that he told me AND Chase and also the lies that he must be building this new family and marriage on.
16 days ago began the never ending bombardment in my heart and mind of all the times he stood in my home and held me making all these promises, all the lies that were told and truths that were evaded, of the lies that he told me AND Chase and also the lies that he must be building this new family and marriage on.
16 days ago.......
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