Hmmm.... there's your sign..... :)

Ok- first a big thanks to all who prayed me thru today's initial counseling session. I DID NOT FALL APART!!! THAT IS HUGE FOR ME!!!! I am a very emotional person anyway... and with the "MESS" things are all magnified!! BUT my God is a BIG God!!! and HE is seeing me thru! Praise God!!!!!

I reached out to different places about counseling for Chase and I and asked God to close the doors that needed to close and open the ones that needed to be opened.

(by the way, HE IS REAL GOOD AT THAT-- as 2/18/09 can attest to!!!)

Anyway, I have found myself back at the McMinn- Meigs Baptist Center, a place that I have been before many times... in what I thought was marriage counseling with you know who ( sorry-hard to say or write that person's name)- any way... I am back... but this time to truly HEAL!!!!!
It was hard to walk thru those doors- but I had a peace. ( after much deep breathing and claiming God as my King!!) My God IS a BIG GOD!!!! And I know that He is leading me down roads and thru doors to reclaim what is MINE and make memories that are not riddled with hurtful thoughts from the past. They say to conquer you can't just forget- you have to replace... and I am READY TO REPLACE ALL OF THESE HORRIFIC MEMORIES!!!!
Anyway, the counselor seem nice, ( I am wondering if he is too nice... I need someone to give me a swift kick in the hind end----) but I must remember that God brought me here... now.... and He knows what is best for me and Chase!
Can you picture it???? 1 hour, with a nice stranger, to try to tell about the past 22 year's highlights-- or should I say low lights, to try to explain that both Chase and I need to be "fixed"... and we need this stranger's help to do it. Yep-- I must say I think this "mess" takes the prize... the astounded looks were flying around the room for sure! I handled it with laughter.. my new mask... but hey-- easier on the makeup than the tears for sure!!! I only teared up twice... and both of those instances involved speaking about Chase and how he has handled the pain.
Anyway- his credentials seem good... he has alot of background with teenagers... and most importantly.... God put me here! so next week, Lord willing, both Chase and I will return to MMBA.
But here is your sign.... when your counselor asks to pray with you before you leave, and then says that he wants YOU to pray for him too....( with an deer in the head-light look on his face)...... THERE'S YOUR SIGN.... I did good... yea God.... I just said "ok, no problem... it's overwhelming isn't it....??????"

ANYWAY.... tomorrow is another day!

By the way..... the counselor's name is B.J.---- lift him up for me will you?????