I have FEAR issues.... I never knew how deep rooted.... or to what extent.... or even did I realize until these last few weeks that I have spent the past 14+ years of my life, totally making EVERY decision I made based in/on fear. Fear of what another person might do or think. How he might react to a decision that I might make - or an action I did or didn't do. I never realized all the blame that had been, oh so subtly, placed on my shoulders to carry.... nor did I realize how willing I carried it. (ok-- God just gave me the picture of the camel-- the one from the retreat almost 1 year ago to the day... neat God-- sorry that I am such a slow learner....)
Anyway I was watching Creflo Dollar today- a show I very rarely watch ( thanks God)and he was speaking on fear.
He referenced Job 3:25
For the thing which I greatly fear comes upon me, and that of which I am afraid befalls me.
And then he said the most powerful statement:
When you operate in fear, it actually connects you to the thing you are afraid of.
WOW!!!!!!!
What an amazing statement.... one that shook me to my core.... I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN FEAR ANYMORE..... AND MOST IMPORTANTLY I DO NOT WANT TO BE CONNECTED TO him ANYMORE!!!
Anyway he went on to speak that all fear is centered in unbelief... so, if that is true I am saying that I do not believe that my God is big enough, strong enough, loving enough to take care of me and conquer "him".....
IT IS TIME FOR SOME SERIOUS MIND and HEART ADJUSTMENT!!!!!!!!!
I had never thought of fear like that before....
and then..... God is just the neatest!!!..... - He really is amazing me so much these days ( sorry God-- I know that your miracles have been surrounding me everyday -all my life-- sorry I have missed seeing so many of them!!!) anyway.... I digress... Carolyn... my SS teacher came up today-- I was at lunch-so I missed her... but I called her to tell her to have a safe trip and to tell her I was sorry I missed her and I told her that I heard Creflo Dollar speak on fear today and it really made an impact on me. And YEAH GOD-- what does she do... she quoted Job 3:25 ( the exact verse that was on Creflo today...) and then spoke about how fear was really just unbelief!!!! ( see my GOD KNOWS I need repletion!!!lol-- keep it up God--keep it up!!!)
Anyway- I believe it is time that I dig in and re-evaluate what all I DO NOT need to fear..... especially 'him' and step out of the way and let my BIG, AWESOME, AWE-INSPIRING, MAGNIFICENT FATHER go to work on my behalf!! I want to get rid of my unbelief God... please bring the people, places, blogs, and circumstances into my life to show me all I need to learn! and ( referencing the retreat 1 year ago today...... TRANSFORM me into that butterfly!!!!!)
VOICE OF TRUTH-- CASTING CROWNS
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy, you'll never win!""You'll never win!"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says,
"This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen
to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth!!!
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