Thursday, January 22, 2009

To fast or not to fast??????

At the beginning of the year I wanted to start a fast.
Jentzen Franklin- (a pastor that I follow and the one that started the wonderful Forward Conference in Atlanta that I was able to go to this summer with the kids in our youth group) does a 21 day corporate fast with his church every year. I thought about it - I prayed about it... I researched it.... but not with my whole heart....
1) because it was scary-- I wasn't raised at FBC to "fast".... so this was "foreign to me"!
2) because I love food AND
3) I thought I would fail......!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The more I thought about it the more I realized that #3 was the true reason that I didn't do what God was prompting me to do! FAILURE!!!!!!!! it haunts me.... it truly does....... ( I will have to write more on that one later.... I think I need a little more "transformation" before I take that leap!)

But I should know by now that my God will not allow me to hide from something HE wants me to do. He knows his girl.... He just waits awhile and comes at it from a different angle and if that doesn't work ... He waits awhile and tries again.......

One of my sayings in life to my friends is-

"Don't throw me into the deep end with out my swimmies!!!"
..... I have to know all the details- how cold is the water--- how deep is the water... how long do I have to stay in the water.....are there sharks in the water.....what kind of suit should I wear.... what is everyone else wearing..... who else will be in the water with me........will there be a nice comfy towel to wrap up in if I get cold and have to get out of the water..... yepppp... that's me... you have to lay it all out before I will dive in!

But HE knows me and He knows... give her time.... she will come around ( THANK YOU FATHER FOR BEING SO PATIENT WITH ME!!!) and if I don't come around.... will spring the ultimate on me.....
the "CHASER"!!!

Yep-- the tried and true.... if my feet slip... my little one ( not so little now at 6'1") reminds me, if I don't live up to standards that I have laid out, for both him and me... yep I get the "look", if I get to the bottom of the well- yes God uses Chase to remind me how wonderful my life is and how I should always strive to be a better person... a better mother.... and a better Christan! it is amazing.... ( thank you again God for blessing me with such a miracle!)

Anyway--- I shelved the fasting idea.... it wasn't for me..... surely God didn't expect me to fast... come on... He KNOWS that when I get upset I scrounge in the pantry to sooth me soul..... He KNOWS that in the middle of the night when I can't sleep and my mind wanders to dark places I HAVE to eat something to go back to sleep...... HE knows that all my work buddies make the best treats and the Firemen are always cooking back in the Fire hall.... wafting yummy cooking smells up the hall right to my DESK!!!! surely God doesn't expect that of me....

enter the Chaser.....

I did not share with him my conflict about fasting.... I really didn't share it with anyone... I put out a few feelers to my spiritual friends ( I didn't follow thru mind you-- just put out the feelers..)

Anyway..... Chase and some of his friends have started a Thursday Bible study group during their lunch period.... ( didn't I tell you he was a blessing....).... anyway.. these teenagers have gotten together and on their own... they spend their lunch period talking about what God has laid on their heart...( PRAISE GOD). From the best I can understand- each week someone different is chosen to lead and they take the time to tell the others in their group what they feel God is leading them to share! Last week was Chase's turn and he was nervous... I am trying not to intrude... but asked what he shared about and it was prayer... way to go Chase....ANYWAY... this Thursday, it was some one's elses turn, so I asked him what they had talked about today. Well.... of course you know the answer.....
FASTING!!!!
Yep that's right... fasting....
and he went on....
next Tuesday....
he and another of his buddies have committed to fast for the day........
NO...... ... how deep is the water.... how cold is the water.....are there sharks in the water..... they have COMMITTED to fast for the day!!!!
OK GOD.... I HEAR YOU...... I'M DIVING IN!

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